Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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