If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize