so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
