U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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