apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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