my vag is so smooth its legendary
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
