i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
