dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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