so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
