I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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