Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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