Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
