I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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