Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
