We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
