If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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