belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
