hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize