We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize