I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
