I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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