I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize