Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize