i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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