Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize