There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
