Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
