This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
