how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
