Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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