I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
