fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
