Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
