Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
too bad you live with your parents still
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
