DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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