Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
jump out the window naked night went bad
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
