i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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