I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
