And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
