She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
