Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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