there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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