Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The dick lei will go down in squad history
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
