She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
