no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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