have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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