her vagine was all disorganized.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
