forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
