somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
