But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
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