you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
