We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize