the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
