She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
