Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
