I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
