We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
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