dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
