I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Randomize
