i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
