You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
