think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Ketchup is God's man juice
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
