we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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